


The House That Robert Built

by matan4il



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Angst, Angst and Porn, Hurt, M/M, Shameless Smut, Smut, Tumblr Prompt, slightly dark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-22
Updated: 2018-01-22
Packaged: 2019-03-08 03:20:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,090
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13449438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/matan4il/pseuds/matan4il
Summary: Every morning wakes Robert up with the dull sensation of a deep and deeper running pain. It's clear to him why. You can't have and lose your soulmate and expect anything else. He allows himself a sigh before trying to kick start his day despite it.Teeth brushed, shower taken, hair combed. The days move on in actions. How long has it been since Aaron's told him it's the end of their marriage and to leave the Mill? Robert's not sure. Too long. Or maybe not that long, it could just feel that way. Or it hasn't been any time at all because time itself has broken down and come to a stand still the moment Aaron uttered those words. So none of this, absolutely none of it's real. Clothes put on.A Tumblr prompt fill for Iris, based on the songHate Meby Eurielle. Sorry it took so long, it was challenging for me to write this. I hope you don't regret my fill of this prompt for you... <3Set not too long after Robron's July break up.





	The House That Robert Built

**Author's Note:**

  * For [irisnsc](https://archiveofourown.org/users/irisnsc/gifts).



> Feedback is always appreciated, thank you!

Every morning wakes Robert up with the dull sensation of a deep and deeper running pain. It's clear to him why. You can't have and lose your soulmate and expect anything else. He allows himself a sigh before trying to kick start his day despite it.

Teeth brushed, shower taken, hair combed. The days move on in actions. How long has it been since Aaron's told him it's the end of their marriage and to leave the Mill? Robert's not sure. Too long. Or maybe not that long, it could just feel that way. Or it hasn't been any time at all because time itself has broken down and come to a stand still the moment Aaron uttered those words. So none of this, absolutely none of it's real. Clothes put on.

He gets through the days somehow. Awaits the nights. Light no longer touches him in any case. It's only in darkness that things feel real again. In the dark, nothing distracts him from missing Aaron with every aching part of his being. His heart and his pain beat as one and tonight, that takes him through the village trails that run behind the backyards of people's houses. The main road is for the people who deserve illumination on their way. He belongs in the shadows. His hand tightens around his bottle of whiskey. It's only a third empty, but that's enough. He's standing at the entrance to the Mill.

He knocks on the door and isn't sure what he feels when no one answers. He's still got a key in his pocket that he's meant to be returning. Instead, he uses it. Inside, shadows have taken over the Mill. He doesn't flip on any switches. He doesn't need that. What he can make out and how well he knows this place is enough. He leaves the whiskey on the living room table. Makes his way to the staircase. Takes it ever so slowly. Finds the bedroom.

He has no idea how long he stands and stares. It shouldn't feel like even now, it's his too. He starts going through the room, looking and touching. Feeling the fabric of the last clothes he's meant to collect from where they're still lying in the cupboard. Drawing a line in the dust piling up on the shelf where his books stood. Opening the drawer of the bedside table. His eyes pick up a glimmer at the bottom of the mostly emptied drawer and he reaches for it.

By the time Aaron returns home, Robert's drifted off into a sleep too troubled to be anything but light, sprinkled with visions too fleeting to be actual dreams. He's never made his huge mistake. He got close, real close, but he backed off at the last minute. He drank so much to be able to go through with it, that he passed out and never did. When Robert's eyes settle on the figure of Aaron at the door, it takes him a second to remember which reality he's in.

Aaron's gaze reminds him. The distance in it. Robert's lying on the bed, fully naked underneath the covers he’s partially tangled up in. Any other reality and his husband would have been by him in a split second, they would have been kissing already.

The sound of Aaron's boots is heavy and hard against the bedroom floor. His steps are slow. He stops by the head of the bed. "What's with these?" Aaron runs the tip of his finger over the handcuffs Robert had used to attach his hands together. They didn't use that many toys in their sex life. For the most part, it was because they simply didn't need them. What they had was intense enough as it was. But then there was that one time when Robert came back slightly tipsy from a night comforting Bernice, bringing back with him that set of cuffs she decided she wanted rid of, a few rowdy tales she had shared and an insistence that all men are pigs. And instead of seeing his boyfriend amused by that statement like he expected, Robert noticed where Aaron's eyes turned to and the hungry look they got. It made a shiver run down his spine and straight to his dick. He shivered... and he pursued. Earlier this night, when he saw the pair still lying at the bottom of the drawer, it triggered something in him. He took off his clothes, laid down in the bed and put them on. Cursed himself for choosing a bed they couldn't be attached to. He desperately wanted to be able to be physically connected to this place.

He shrugs almost imperceptibly under Aaron's stare and bites his lip. 

'Just take me', he wants to say. 'Just fuck me and take me and meld me to you so I can never be parted from you again'.

He can't say it. So he spreads his legs as much as he can, inviting. From where the covers were already riding pretty low, they slip a bit further down. _'Please'_ , he begs inside his head, scared of Aaron being mature or responsible or whatever word they use for when people are able to turn down what they really need. Because Robert may be ignorant when it comes to certain things, and sometimes he's downright an idiot, but he's sure of this. Aaron needs this as much as he does.

And Aaron suddenly, with lightning speed, comes at Robert and flips him over, face down on the bed. Aaron comes up from behind, kissing and groping everywhere, hands travelling over skin and under the slipped covers, feeling their away and taking hold of the straining cock they find. Robert gets a kick out of being manhandled by Aaron. He loves the power in those arms, loves how practical those hands are in getting what Aaron wants. Short and to the point. Massively sexy. Robert can't help but want those hands on him, always. His mind has always buzzed with the knowledge that Aaron could easily kill a man with them, that there's almost nothing he can't accomplish with those impressively powerful biceps, and that what he chooses to pour all that strength into instead is exploring Robert's body, pleasuring it, doing with it as he likes.

What he _chose_.

Robert gets off on the friction from Aaron's clothes against the skin of his exposed backside. He moans shamelessly through the kisses, hisses when there's a bite to the tender muscle connecting his neck and his shoulder. All too soon Aaron's got him panting. Which inevitably leads to the thrust from his thighs, Robert quietly, though not so subtly, begging to be taken.

There's a loss of Aaron's weight at his back, the noise of a belt and a zipper being done away with, out of the way as quickly as possible, the sound of a spit, and then it returns. More pressing. Aaron's wet fingers finding his hole. Checking. It's looser than it might have been, Robert couldn't help but play with himself a little after he'd put on one cuff. Imagining exactly this. Aaron pushes two digits in with little regard to whatever resistance he does meet, then scissors. Impatient. Robert doesn't want to give Aaron a chance to regret anything, to pause or change his mind. There's no room for delicacy now anyway. Robert pushes back, impales himself on Aaron's hand. He doesn't mean to say anything, the moment may still be too fragile for that, but a guttural, slightly desperate "fuck me, please" slips out anyway. He can't help it.

The fingers at Robert's entrance are gone and before he knows it, he senses a hand pushing against his back, pressing down, and then the head of Aaron's dick is precisely where he wants it. He holds his breath as the pressure on him increases and he's being slowly breached. It tenses his whole body, which likely means it hurts more that way, but that's good. He wants to feel it. Aaron doesn't stop until Robert can feel the man's balls against his ass. He groans. It feels right in ways no one will ever fully understand, himself probably included. All he is at that moment is just the sense of _yes _that bursts up everywhere in him, like his whole being has been turned into one definitive exclamation mark.__

__There's a certain quiet that's always been present in Robert's head when Aaron pushes him down and drives right into him. The hiss and stretch and burn. The fucking pleasure of being filled up. The knowledge it's Aaron filling him up, making him feel whole. Those leave no room for noise. Robert has never known such calm in his life. How can he not crave it? "More," he asks. "Please."_ _

__Aaron withdraws, but he doesn't retreat too far before he slams right back in with force. Like he doesn't want to break this connection again either. Like he too is admitting with every thrust that anything else but this leaves him feeling lacking and hollow. He pounds away in earnest. Robert can feel Aaron's dick splitting his insides, mercilessly, withdrawing only to repeat the act of invasion again and again. He finds that he's huffing out whatever air his lungs are still clutching to with every piercing move, his breath being quite literally fucked out of him. The weight of Aaron's hand at his back never leaving him, directing the brawn of every jab right to the very core of him._ _

__It makes Robert want to weep with joy, because it's that good and right._ _

__It makes him clench with fear._ _

__Behind him he can hear in response, "oh Jesus, fuck, _Robert_ ," and it's Aaron's voice, like the man can't take how amazing this is, and it's Robert's cock, rocked hard against the mattress repeatedly, and he's coming with a cry only muffled by the pillow he's planted his face into. His whole body is seized by this tremor and Aaron continuing to fuck him, continuing to apply pressure on his spent and sensitive dick, prolongs every sensation. Almost makes him feel like he could come a second time straight in a row, shooting out air where his balls had no more seed to spend._ _

__Aaron had changed Robert and at the same time, he hadn't. Aaron is the man Robert married, the man who left him, who made Robert more himself than he ever got to be before. Aaron saw him and loved him. Allowed him to be. Every part of Robert was changed by Aaron, was made truer by him, belonged to him now that this man went and put his mark on it. Aaron continues to pound relentlessly into that which belongs to him. In a second he'll be done. In a second, he'll pull up his trousers and walk away. Abandon the man who he made his own. It's wrong, it's so _wrong_ , Robert feels that with every thrust drawing this closer to an end. It couldn't be more wrong, but it's still going to happen._ _

__Aaron pulls out all of a sudden, turns Robert around and shoves his dick at the mouth that's fallen slack open. Roberts mouth, that wasn't expecting this, but was somehow awaiting it eagerly all the same. Aaron's husband guessing his intentions instinctively, tongue darting right out, seeking the familiar, desired weight. Cheeks hollowed. Mouth sucking in contentment. That's what Robert will always be, wearing a ring or not. Aaron's knowing, loving husband._ _

__Tongue moving along the underside of Aaron's cock in Robert's mouth. This is how the passage of days should be measured. Lips swollen and stretched to the brim._ _

__Robert uses his body because that's what he is skilled in using to express what he otherwise can't. Aaron always knew how to hear what he was really saying. This is the way they were always joined, even through the most terrible of times. It has to work again. Robert reaches his cuffed hands up and cups Aaron's face in one hand. Directs the man's gaze into his own wide open eyes. He sucks Aaron with a whole new level of meaning and desperation as they stare at each other, kisses him where he can. Kisses him for every breath he doesn't want to take without this beautiful man that he'd married, kisses him for all the future days apart that hang over their heads like dark clouds. Aaron, his expression seeming stunned, pulls out as if scorched by fire. Robert doesn't look away from him._ _

__They’re both staring and panting, their breathing shallow and hard._ _

__Aaron leans back down and lifts one of Robert's legs onto one shoulder. Carefully slips back into the heat of his body. Touches his cheek and doesn't move away as a pair of cuffed hands join in and hold on. Resumes the fucking of Robert's arse while closing in on his mouth and kisses him. A kiss they both groan into._ _

__Robert moves his body around Aaron as a continuation of the kiss, needy and urgent. Drawing the man who carries a piece of his soul deeper in. More insistent than he's ever been in his life. Robert has to tell Aaron his love, his want, has to make the man he was forced to separate from see his anguish over their break up, feel his honest regret. Too many things he can only express fully through and around their love making, so Robert uses his body. Makes it the frame to a magnificent piece of art. Aaron must behold the undeniable beauty of it. The void everywhere else._ _

__Robert is aware he's about to be filled with Aaron's semen a second before he is. It breaks their kiss and he sighs. At what he got. And at the loss. Aaron stabs at Robert's guts a few final times and collapses. They cling blindly to each other where their hands were still joined and Robert feels one last bite to the tip of his shoulder. Then Aaron's arm slips away from beneath his. Aaron's cock pulls out, leaving some seed to dribble out and over Robert’s buttocks and upper thigh. Warm. A testament and a reminder. It will cool down in less than a minute, leaving Robert not only empty, but cold too. He may never get to have this again._ _

___He may never feel this content and so much like himself again_._ _

__He snaps. The words spill out of him at last. Everything he had no choice but to beg for. "I hurt you so bad, Aaron, I know and I’m sorry, I’m so sorry! I’m more sorry than I ever realized it was possible to feel. And I wish I could take it back. I wish with," Robert shakes his head like he has no other way of proving the veracity of his words, "with _everything_ that I have. But I can't. So you have to hurt me back. You have to let the pain out, so we can move on. So we can have a chance again at a life together. Aaron, fuck me. Please. Hurt me. Handcuff me, lock me in. Tie me up and cut me down if that's what will help you put us back together. Don't allow me to go out for as long as you want to. Ever again, if that's what you decide. Screw me whenever you want to. Ignore me when you feel like it. Do with me whatever you want, no matter how bad. Keep me like a prisoner. I don't care. I want you to. I want to show you, I need to prove to you, that you're everything and there's nothing I can't take if it's for you. That there's nowhere else I belong than in this house, with you, in this room, even confined to this bed. Aaron, please. Anything. Let me stay here, don't make me leave again... Please..." He's not done so much as his voice has grown weaker with his pleas, too weak and he can't go on, eyes hanging onto Aaron, waiting, hoping for, dreading his response._ _

__//_ _

__Robert's presence wasn't a surprise. Aaron half expected his ex to show up, even sooner than he did in light of how unaccepting he was of their break up._ _

__It still took Aaron by surprise, just how irresistible Robert was to him, no matter how strong he's tried to be and how many walls he's attempted to put up. After he climaxed and when he'd gathered his wits enough, he pulled out of Robert, admitting to himself that this shouldn't have happened and that it probably had to. A final admission of love. Now all that was left to them was to turn it into the closure that would put an end to this. Aaron had to make Robert take the last of his things with him and leave his key in exchange._ _

__But then Robert spoke, begged, and his voice was so raw, his regret so true, his pleading so small and hopeful and hopeless all at the same time, that it gripped Aaron's soul and broke his heart._ _

__Robert hurt Aaron, yes. But the thing that scares him the most about his ex husband is the way that as long as Aaron can, he will always want to try and save him. From a suffocating closeted lifestyle, from a weirdo little bully, from a menacing blackmailed uncle... even from Robert himself. Aaron knows he couldn't truly conceive of how far he might push his own limits in order to save him. He did in the past to the point of harming himself, more than once. And now Robert was begging Aaron to _hurt him_. With an increasingly breaking voice that told Aaron all he needed to about how hurt Robert already was, about how badly he was suffering. That's the most horrific part in all of this. The crippling fear that no matter what Aaron does, he _will _hurt Robert. That he may want to save him, but it's simply not clear which is the road that will lead them to salvation.___ _

____Aaron loves Robert, at this moment maybe more than he ever has, when Robert is unbearably opening himself up in every way imaginable. When he's so vulnerable and pained, in such need of him. Aaron loves Robert more than he loves his own soul. As much as it was up to him, he'd save Robert in a heartbeat from anything. And he just doesn't know what to do._ _ _ _


End file.
